Memories of Great-Grandpa Bird for the Boys

We use this as our family journal, so once again, feel free to not read this. It's just being written for posterity sake before my mind forgets these special moments.

I'm really sad that Jameson and Alex probably won't remember Grandpa Bird. Especially Jameson because Grandpa loved him so much and Jameson loved Grandpa. He was a part of Jameson's everyday life. Grandpa was there for both of the boys' baby blessings. I'm so grateful that we have pics of both boys with Grandpa. I remember when we first found out that Grandpa had congestive heart failure. I was 6 months pregnant with Jameson, and it was one of the many times they weren't sure Grandpa was going to make it. The most important thing to me was that he got to meet Jameson in this life. I wanted that picture of the two of them together more than anything. A few days later, as Grandpa always did, he bounced right back and was out of the hospital and back to bowling and going to the gym in no time. Then, right after I had Alex he had another flare-up and it was back to the hospital again. I was so glad that we got to take Alex to the hospital to see Grandpa so he could see him when he first started smiling. Grandpa was so happy that he got to see those kinds of things. He always talked to the babies so cute. My boys love Grandpa Bird. Every time we were at my parents and Grandpa was there (which was very often) Jameson had to be sure to give Grandpa a big hug before we left. When Grandpa first went into the hospital Jameson had been throwing up for a couple of days so we had my parents watch him so we could go visit Grandpa. Even though Jameson seemed better we wanted to be sure he wasn't going to get Grandpa sick and make him worse. Jameson was devastated that he couldn't come with us to see Grandpa. I felt kinda bad, but I was sure Grandpa would be bouncing right back and been home soon so I told him he could draw a picture for Grandpa and maybe he could go the next time. He did make him a little card (he asked me to trace his hand on a piece of paper and then he colored it) but he was still really sad he couldn't go. The next morning when I called to check on him and they told us he'd been moved to ICU I was heartbroken. I remembered when Grandpa had heart surgery when I was young and was in ICU I couldn't see him, so I knew that they didn't let kids in. I was so mad at myself for not taking Jameson to see Grandpa when he'd been better the day before. In the many days that we spent in the ICU waiting room I just kept thinking that Jameson had to be able to see Grandpa at least one more time. Every night Jameson prayed (and often still does) for "Grandpa to be better". Though it was difficult when Grandpa made the decision to stop treatment, take out all the tubes, and go home on hospice, I knew that meant that Jameson would get to spend a little time with him. As soon as he was settled at home I took Jameson right over to see Grandpa. It was such a blessing that he was still his fun self. I was so glad I got to take the boys to visit Grandpa every day until he died. The first 3 days he was still his same old self, then Thurs. I got a text from my dad saying that he wasn't responding or speaking so we went right over. When we got there Grandpa said hi to us. I talked to him a little about how he'd slept, and then he dozed off again. We continued to hang out and visit with other family members there and every few minutes Jameson would just go stand by Grandpa with his hand on Grandpa's arm and just look at him while he slept. I wish I'd been able to get my camera out quick enough to catch it. It was such a sweet moment. As it was getting time for us to go Jameson was standing with Grandpa again and he woke up. I went over and asked Jameson if he wanted to sing a song for Grandpa (he LOVES to sing) and he said yes, so he started to sing "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam" and soon Grandpa joined with him to help him get all the words. It was the sweetest moment. I only wish that Jameson could remember it. I hope I always remember it too. Then Alex showed Grandpa his newest trick of waving and saying "bye-bye" (which he'd learned just the day before), then we gave Grandpa hugs and kisses and told him we loved him and said good-bye. That was the last time I ever heard Grandpa talk. I just wanted to have that moment written down so that, even though they won't remember, they'll know that they had that very special moment with Great-Grandpa Bird and that they loved each other very much.

Grandpa's funeral services were beautiful. We started with a viewing on Wed. night. I had told Jameson that Grandpa had gone to live with Heavenly Father when he died. On the way to the viewing I realized Jameson might be a little confused by that when he saw him still here, so I started trying my best to simply explain that Grandpa's spirit had gone to be with Heavenly Father, but his body was still here. I wasn't sure how much sunk in. When we got the viewing we took Jameson over to see Grandpa's body. He said "I love you Grandpa" and then he looked around the room and turned to me and said "Mama, where's Heavenly Father?" It was so cute. I was glad he was comprehending a little of what I was telling him, but I'm sure it was still confusing. Then the funeral started with the family prayer. Saying our last physical good-byes to Grandpa which was difficult. We were doing okay, until we took Jameson up to say good-bye to Grandpa and he said "Bye-bye Grandpa." then turning to me said "Mama, I need to give Grandpa a big hug" (which is what he always did when we left his house or anytime we say him) I explained that we couldn't hug Grandpa but he could blow him a big kiss, so he did. Then we lined up to head into the funeral. We were following the casket out of the room. As the casket silently left the room Jameson started yelling "Bye-bye Grandpa" over and over again until he couldn't see it anymore. There was no use, that brought both laughter and tears all at once. It was so sweet. During the funeral Grandpa's Great-Grandchildren went up and sang "I Am a Child of God". We had practiced a bunch the night before so the kids would know what to do. Of coarse once it came down to performance time we all held our breath. The kids went up very quietly and then as they were getting situated Jameson looked over and realized the casket was there right in front of them, so he loudly told everyone "Look, it's Grandpa Bird!" It was just too funny, we couldn't help but laugh. I laughed but thought "oh please don't let him be too distracting". He did great singing the first verse, I was so proud of him for doing so well. Then in the break between the verses he noticed my cousin Amy (who was staying with us while she was in town in turn making her his favorite person in the world) and yelled "Hey Amy!" and started waving wildly to her. No one could control it at that point. It was hilarious! (Here's Jameson with his "favorite Amy" at the cemetary.)(Back to the song) My child was not the only one being funny during the song. Right as they walked up Dylan (Jen's 3 year old) fell and never reappeared deciding it would be more fun to sit on the floor while everyone else sang. He finally reappeared when the song was over and refused to leave the stage because he hadn't sung yet. Isaac (Stacy's 2 year old) also added some entertainment. When Dylan fell he tripped Isaac so he fell too, but he popped back up. That did however inspire him to play peek-a-boo, popping up and down throughout the entire song. It sure is fun to have all of these little boys together. I have to admit that Grandpa would have absolutely loved all of that, so it made it all very appropriate.